What nourishes your internal garden?

“Do you love yourself?  Do you care about yourself?” I asked a friend of mine.

“Yes, of course,” she said.

“Then stop condemning others!” I said.  The friend had been criticizing a group of people at her gym because she thinks they only care about their friends and no one else. They eat together, sit together and don’t care if someone is sitting next to them or not.  She always mentions how rude they are and how they don’t care about others.  She always laments about this group and one day I realized she must want to be like them.  She must like to be included in a group who take care of each other.  It’s like she is yearning for that love.

We never know what messages our world presents to us.  Sometimes when we see other people being happy, we envy them because deep down we want to be happy.  It’s every human’s sole (soul) purpose to be happy.  But we don’t know how to be happy because we are so addicted to being sad, criticizing others, feeling sorry for ourselves that we have forgotten even to laugh.  Gradually we pull ourselves from others and eventually we shrivel inside.  We have nothing left to be happy about because we just focus on negative things.

When something is shriveled, the first think we do is to give water to it.  Laughter is the best water for internal soul garden.  It opens our heart and allows others to enter and admire what’s inside.  That’s what we humans need.

What do you do to nourish your internal garden?

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What’s sadness?

Sadness is also a kind of defense – Ivo Andrić – Yugoslav poet and writer

We usually associate sadness to only missing someone and that may be the obvious reason because of which we always feel sad.   But in reality sadness could come from various other emotions.  It could be because we think:

  • others took our advantage
  • we didn’t get our way
  • we didn’t get what we wanted
  • is not to take responsibility for our actions
  • we didn’t win at something

Sadness robs us of the present moment.  It stays in the past and triggers the emotion of victimhood which perpetuate sadness.  It’s a vicious cycle game.  A game ego loves to play.

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Our words tell our personalities

There is a ring at the door and the husband descends the stairs where the two kids, younger than three, have strewn living area and the kitchen floor with their toys, while the caregiver is preparing food for the kids.  It’s noon and late for the lunch because the caregiver was busy in tidying up the living area which was all untidy from the night before. The wife opens the door and ask the husband to take care of the guest and disappears into a room.

By the time the guest comes at the end of the steps the husband, after greeting the guest, says, “This is not how I like the house to be.”

The husband’s remarks can conjure up thoughts like: “The man is because he cares about the house, or he likes a clean house.”  However, the sentence shows how he likes to give good impression of himself to others but is not willing to take responsibility of what he wants.  The caregiver is busy and the husband had the day off.  If he wanted the house to be clean he could have given her a hand in tidying up the house either that day or night before.  Or he could have taken played with one of the children which would allow the caregiver to tidy the house faster so the lunch would be cooked on time.  But it’s easier said than done!!1

Do you ever think if your words depict your personality?

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Why do we feel scarcity?

We live in an age of artificial scarcity maintained by ignorance and fear – Robert Anton Wilson

“They started new service and now we can reserve our seat for yoga,” said the woman standing next to me.  We were outside the yoga studio, in a gym, and waiting for the earlier class to end in order to attend the next class.

It just struck me that this reserving our seat creates scarcity in our mind.  The studios are big enough that until now no one has been turned away from classes on the basis of space. In yoga studio everyone accommodates each other, even if the yoga mats are only a few inches away from each other.  So why do we need to reserve it.  It’s not like a squash or tennis court where only a limited number of players can play at a time.

They gym, perhaps uses reservation statistics to indicate the number of clients in order to put itself in a positive light compared to other franchises.  But, in the long-term, it definitely can create a mentality of scarcity.

We associate scarcity with lack or little of physical/material things.  It could be having less money than someone else or not as big a bank account or a big house as we would wish to have, few jobs or other opportunities that create money.  But scarcity is also emotional and mental.  For instance, one may feel we are not loved or we have few friends and the list goes on and on.

Why do we develop mentality of scarcity?  Perhaps, because as children we heard grown-ups being worried about money or sulking to show they are not pleased or others have disappointed them.  This can be the beginning of those feelings of not being loved. Numerous studies have been conducted for what makes people happy. The happiest people on Happy Index are usually people with very little GDP.  We always think that money can buy happiness but it buys freedom and more choices which can result into being happy for some time and the quest begins again.

As Wayne Dyer said, “There is no scarcity of opportunity to make a living at what you love; there’s only scarcity of resolve to make it happen.

I guess whenever we feel unhappy we could think of people on Happy Index, relax into the present moment and BE HAPPY!  The happier we are, the more the concept of scarcity disappears.

 

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How do you create scarcity in your life?

We live in an age of artificial scarcity maintained by ignorance and fear – Robert Anton Wilson

A woman and I were standing outside the yoga studio, in a gym, and waiting for the earlier class to end so that we could go in for the next class.  The woman said to me: “They started new service and now we can reserve our seat for yoga.”

It just struck me that this reserving our seat creates scarcity in our mind.  The studios are big enough that until now no one has been turned away, even if they came when the class has already started.  In yoga studio everyone accommodates each other, even if the yoga mats are only a few inches away from each other.  So why do we need to reserve it.  It’s not like a squash court where only two players can play in one court.

They gym, perhaps uses reservation statistics to indicate the number of clients in order to put itself in a positive light compared to other franchises.  But, in the long-term, it definitely can create a mentality of scarcity.

Scarcity is lack or absence of something.  We associate scarcity with lack or little of physical/material things.  It could be having less money than someone else or not as big a bank account as we would wish to have, few jobs or other opportunities that create money.  But scarcity is also emotional and mental.  For instance, one may feel we are not loved or we have few friends and the list goes on and on.

The happiest people on Happy Index are usually people with very little GDP.  We always think that money can buy happiness but it buys freedom and more choices which results in happiness.

I guess whenever we feel happy we could think of people on Happy Index, relax into the present moment and BE HAPPY!  The more happy we are, the more the concept of scarcity disappears.

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What could be better than being in the present?

The past has not power over the present moment – Eckhart Tolle

The moment we wake up, our brain starts sending messages to us and by the time we sit down for the breakfast we are somewhere else mentally and emotionally.  Our mood will depend on either what we dreamt at night, or weather we liked the reply to our last text the previous day.  This mood has nothing to do with where we are physically.

To have a peaceful day it’s imperative to start the day with gratitude for the bed we woke up from, the water we shower in and use to wash our face, the food, and to our life.  We can also develop a habit of staying in the present by focusing on our breath.  Sticky notes can be used to remind oneself of the present moment.  The purpose of the exercise is to stay in the present moment, for it’s a gift to us, and one never knows when would it end.

When we focus on breathing:

  • It helps keep all thoughts at bay because we are focusing on the present moment, and not about what someone said or what we should have said.
  • Food taste delicious.
  • We enjoy the breakfast and the rest of the day.

No wonder they say, “Got up from the wrong side of the bed,” when feeling grumpy.”   By focusing on the breath we can turn even grumpy mood into cheerfulness.

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Interpreting hidden messages we hear!

“The most dangerous lie, is that which most closely resembles the Truth” —-Jan Groenveld  (Australian anti-cult activist and ex-member of the Jehovah’s witnesses)

One Sunday morning Anita texted her acquaintance, Gloria, whom she met only a couple of weeks ago, that it was her birthday.  Gloria invited her for coffee but Anita said that her husband had planned an outing and then lunch afterwards.

“Ok, let me know when you have some time because I want to treat you to coffee,” texted Gloria.

That afternoon Anita texted that she was home and they could go out for coffee.  When Gloria came down from her apartment Anita suggested having coffee in the apartment complex club house because she said that she would have to go home after half an hour and give dinner to her kids.

“It’s a special day and we will go out to celebrate it,” insisted Gloria.  To save time Gloria drove to the coffee shop that was ten-minutes walk away.

Live music greeted them as they entered the coffee shop.  Anita sat down and Gloria placed the order for coffee and small heart-shaped cake, despite Anita not wanting a cake.   Then Gloria, unbeknown to Anita, requested that the band play happy birthday jingle for Anita.

Anita was pleasantly surprised when she saw the cake and heard the song.  Everyone in the coffee shop joined the band in wishing Anita happy birthday.  Anita tremendously enjoyed her time and kept saying this was the first time someone ever did anything like this for her.  They relaxed and chatted while enjoying the coffee for over an hour.  Anita’s husband called once.

When Anita returned home her husband said, “You went for half an hour only and took so long.”  Later he said, “What sort of a woman is your friend who doesn’t value time.  Instead of half an hour she kept you for an hour and a half.”

This may seem a simple fact but it is loaded with manipulation and an attempt to control and brainwash a person against another.  It also reflects the extent of insecurity and low self-esteem of the man that he cannot see his wife enjoying herself with someone other than him.  Perhaps he is so used to controlling her that he thinks his control will wane if the wife has good time with other women?

“A truth that’s told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent.”—- William Blake 

What do you think?

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