“The only permission, the only validation and the only opinion, that matter in our quest for greatness is our own” – Dr. Steve Marabeli.
I was on the phone with my sister and she said something like this: “You talked about…” In Pakistani culture when we use the word “talk”, it means we are complaining or gossiping. It’s like going to someone and especially bring a certain topic about oneself or a person(s). What I had done was express my opinion in the discussion that was started by a third person who was present at the time.
My immediate response was to tell my sister that I didn’t talk. I just expressed my opinion. I badly wanted to set it right and call her right away. But then I asked myself why do I want to convince her so badly that I just expressed my opinion. Would it change anything? I realized what I wanted was a validation. Validation that I didn’t do anything wrong.
I realized when we want validation from others, we stay in a victim mode. We think we can be good only when the other person gives us a stamp of approval. This way we give power to the other person to tell us whether we are good or not. Do they approve of us or not. The only validation that counts is that our own. That’s is not to say that it’s ok to misbehave or mistreat others.
How or when do you seek others’ approval? The more we seek approval, the more we treat ourselves as a victim. Stop seeking others’ approval!