Choose the relationship over choosing to be right. Dr. Wayne Dyer
We all have been hurt by someone or we have hurt someone intentionally or unintentionally. Sometimes we apologize but most of the time our ego makes others responsible for our feelings.
An apology should not have any strings attached: Apologizing can be very difficult at times, because admitting to ourselves that we are wrong is the biggest embarrassment. It takes a lot of courage to apologize for one’s action. However, people sometimes just say, “I’m sorry.” It’s important to explain why one is sorry and what or how their action has harmed the other person, emotionally, psychologically or even physically.
While apologizing we have to remember that people will accept our apology, or forgive us in their own time. So, after apologizing don’t expect others to be normal before the incident happened. Everyone has their own currency of apology. Some may accept the three words, while others may want to hear more. Like why the person is apologizing and if they are aware of how it impacted us.
Some people bring themselves up to apologizing but then they turn it around and blame the person from whom they are apologizing. Someone once apologized to me and to acknowledge the person’s greatness I said, “I’m sorry that my presence upset you.” Right away the person said, “Yes, you need to apologize as well,” despite knowing that they were at fault.
Sometimes people just say, “I’m sorry,” and forget about it and expect the other person would forgive them. But then they do the same thing again and again and think that three words would resolve everything. Run away from these people. Have minimum interaction with such family members.
Forgiveness also requires a big heart: When we are at the receiving end we have to consider how the person had courage and bravery to apologize. Even if we feel hurt we have to think of the other person. Forgiveness is more difficult than apology. It also requires loving the other person and takes a lot of courage to forgive.
Besides, festering a hurt only hurts us further. It’s like the other person hurts us once and we are hurting ourselves, over and over again by thinking about it. Hence, forgiveness is very important, irrespective of whether the other person apologizes for their wrong actions or not.