“Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.” Confucius.
One night, when I was about thirteen, I excitedly went to bed and couldn’t wait for the next day because I was participating in provincial tournaments that my school was hosting. The next morning I discovered that my former roommate had put a piece of chewed chewing gum in my hair where they met the forehead. I tried everything to remove it but nothing worked and eventually I had to cut the clump of hair containing the chewing gum. I walked around tremendously embarrassed. I was also angry and thought that I will take revenge from the girl.
A few days after the tournament, I invited her to eat sweet Pakistani vermicelli that I was going to cook. First I caramelized the sugar and as soon as it turned brown I filled a tablespoon of caramel and took it to my roommate who was sitting on my bed. I had planned on pouring the caramel on her hair thinking it would stick and she would have great difficulty in removing it, the way I had. As I climbed the bed the spoon moved and part of the mixture spilled on my toes. It was only then I realized that liquid was warm and it could have burned her scalp. Such was my focus on taking the revenge that I didn’t even think about the temperature of the mixture.
Instead of pouring the remaining caramel in her hair I turned around and finished cooking the dish that we ate together. I was glad for not pouring the caramel on her head. Since that day I wowed never to take revenge from anyone. Over time I also realized that two wrongs never make one right.
Revenge is an act of EGO: I have seen people taking revenge for things happened way in the past and this has ruined theirs or others’ lives. Is it worth it? No.
Revenge is an act of ego. We think revenge will make us feel better and get even but if we have that mentality then we become prisoner of one revenge after another because with practice one can become an expert and then our lives would be nothing but looking for that hint, that word, or an act of another person in order to get revenge. Our minds would be addicted to scheming and planning instead of being free to enjoy life.
Addiction is always a flaw in character, irrespective of type of addiction.
We have to remember that people wrong us because that’s what they are capable of, and what they do to you reflects who they are deep down and their act can shatter their façade of being nice. So, taking revenge would be throwing proverbial stones in the mud, the person who throws the stones will also get dirty.
A Pakistani proverb, somewhat similar to Confucius, goes like this: “The person who digs a ditch for other also falls in the ditch himself.”