A friend invited me to Colorado Springs Business Regional Business Alliance meeting. I exchanged my business card with another guest who, after looking at the card, asked me what do I write on my blog and I mentioned a few topics that I had written in the previous few weeks. I was asked if I had written about self-esteem because the guest said, “I am surprised some people at my work have low self-esteem and wonder how they got the job.”
So, I decided to dedicate this week’s post to self-esteem. We all know that self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves. Then there is low self-esteem and high self-esteem and we all thrive to acquire the latter.
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is how we think and feel about ourselves. Seeds of self-esteem are sown in us as a child. From time to time we all suffer from low self-esteem, especially when we are put in an unfamiliar situation or given a job that we are not familiar with and we are not sure how we will handle it.
Factors contributing to low self-esteem
It could be one or a combination of factors that lead to long-term low self-esteem. If a child sees her father treating her mother badly she will start thinking that she is not worthy of her father’s or rather any male’s attention. This can affect her whole life. By default the child thinks of herself less than others.
Criticism, abuse, unrealistically high expectation can also lead to low self-esteem.
Low self-esteem can cause people to
- Project themselves as victim and cause self-pity.
- Strive to be perfect all the time and this puts a lot of internal pressure.
- Act as if they don’t care because this way they don’t take the responsibility for their failures and successes.
- Seek others’ approval all the time.
- Sabotage good relationships and successes.
- Multiply previous successes with zero because they think they need to do more in order to feel their value.
Strategies to combat low self-esteem
- Silence the inner judge
- Meditate and do breathing with the focus on the breath because it will divert the mind from self-criticism.
- Set themselves up for success by setting achievable goals. Then print out a calendar and write down all the successes of the day related to the goal. This would help focus on the positive, in addition to, seeing a physical proof of success.
- Set up milestones and celebrate whenever a milestone is achieved.
- Be aware of the emotion.
- Don’t allow emotions to swing the moods like a pendulum.
- Drop the story that caused the emotions.
- Experience the emotions rather than suppressing them or being overwhelmed. Surround the emotions with a pink bubble and release.
- Write and record good points about the following
- Your appearance.
- Your character.
- Your achievements.
Listen to the recording every night before going to bed.
- Ask friends, colleagues to write 5-10 good or valuable points they see in you.
- Put the paper on the wall where they are visible or carry it with you and look at the paper several times a day.
- Join sporting activities because sports always boost self-esteem and self-confidence.
Remember: One good thing about human mind is that it can be trained to achieve anything.
Do you have any other factors that can contribute to raising low-self esteem?