What strategies do you use to get rid of procrastination?

Ok, once again I haven’t written the blog for the last three weeks. I’m blaming my lack of writing to.  I know, I know, instead of taking responsibility for not writing I’m blaming what’s happening in the political arena.

But what I realize is that my relationship with politics is similar to my (ex) marital relationship. Somehow this is what I do when I feel strongly about a situation.

  1. Like and ostrich, I bury my head in sand, wishing or rather thinking that the situation would go away when I take out my head, after laying dormant for a while.
  2. I avoid any discussion about the topic that makes me uncomfortable.
  3. Procrastination hangs over my head like a sharp guillotine blades and I continue to procrastinate.

I realized that denying will not make the issues go away.  I have resolved this thing in my personal relationships but not with my relationship with what’s going on in the politics.

What strategies do you use to avoid facing an issue?  How do you come out of it?

11-procrastination

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Is the word survive used to indicate victimhood?

Every language projects the culture of its people.  Some languages, like English, French are spoken in more than one country, while others are spoken in one country only, or in the territories bordering that country, at the most.   survival-quote-7-picture-quote-1

Even when one language is spoken in several countries across the continent, every day words change to indicate our culture.  Let’s take the word ‘Survive’.  This one word indicates so many things about a culture at micro-level.

According to Oxford Dictionaries, “survival is the state or fact of continuing to live or exist, typically in spite of an accident, ordeal, or difficult circumstances.” 

473617713-things-i-need-to-survive-life-funny-quotes-sayings-picturesBut we have nullified the actual meaning by using it for trivial things.  For instance, we say, I survived her constant chattering.  Though listening to an extremely talkative person is not an ordeal to the extent that it could endanger our existence.Why do we use words to show the world how brave we are or what a difficult task I accomplished?  It could also reflect on how much of a victim we feel we are.

Do you use certain words for the sake of the above mentioned feelings? If so, then why?

 

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Why we wait for big events to celebrate

In every country and every culture, across all races and ethnicity, people have special birthday-quote-by-oprah-winfreydays to celebrate.  These days may mark religious, personal, historical events and tradition.

The question is that why do we wait for some particular dates or time to come so that we could celebrate.  In the olden days, in some culture people even celebrated the start of the season.

Celebrate every day:                                      

today-celebration

Every morning, after we wake up, the first thing when we open our eyes, is to celebrate our live, our breath that keeps us alive.  Why wait until we get a material thing.

 

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What is happiness is to you?

Unhappy mind is unforgiving mind.  The unforgiving mind is full of fear and offers love no room to be itself. It is torn with doubt, confused about itself and all it sees…” ACIM

7df2c73195ef62c8298ee47459879666We all want to be happy. But do we really know how to be happy.  One common way is to set up goals so that after achieving them we feel happy.  Then that happiness vanishes and we are back to square one and then we look at things, people and events that can bring happiness to us.  So we look outwards and expect from others to make us happy.

 

Happiness is a learned behavior:   

Hafiz Love Quotes In Farsi - Valentine Day inside Love Quotes In Farsi

Light a fire if you want fire!

A friend’s husband was always grumpy.  He would never laugh, unless people he bullied cried.  He always had a scowl and even clenched his lips when smiling.  Children learn from their parents because they were unhappy, manipulative, abusive and unloving. But at some point in life adults have to put a stop to it in order to bring happiness to themselves and to people around.

Of course, we can never be happy 24/7 because we are human and our emotions fluctuate.  The difference between normal and habitually unhappy people is that latter are constantly looking for ways to be unhappy, either about themselves or mostly about others.

Strategies for dealing with unhappy people:  

  • Ignore their rants, for even if you did something to make them happy they would find something else in you to be unhappy about.
  • Never engage with them because they are never interested in working on a problem. Their only aim is to complain argue or badger others, with the purpose of intimidating.
  • Avoid their company.
  • Stand up for yourself and let them know that you are not intimidated of their threats or tactics.

 If we do any of the following things, then we have to ask ourselves why are we unhappy happiness-quote-3land what can we do to change our pattern.

Unhappy people are either:

  1. Complainers, or
  2. Complainer and aggressive

Complainers always find something, certain people, or life experiences to complain about. They always feel miserable because they think:

  • Others are taking advantage of them.
  • They are always giving to others.
  • If something has to go wrong it will.
  • Even if things go their way they will find faults.

It’s best to leave such people to their own devices.

 Type B unhappy people are a different ball game.  First they complain and then become aggressive and bullies.  It’s important to not take a bait they use to attack.  At times it’s important to stand up to them but it’s not worth spending time or energy on them.  Such people use every possible tactic to intimidate others.  They:

Don’t like happy people. Quickly get sick.
Don’t like orderly life. Can never be pleased, no matter what.
Are lazy and always looking for a fight. Don’t like people who stand up to their bullying.
Bully others in order to feel good. Are nitpickers.
Thrive in chaos because this way they avoid looking at their own behavior. Are self-serving dictators who want absolute control and want people to be afraid of them.
Are mean, manipulators, arrogant, controlling and cunnings. Go back on their words and complain that others are not keeping their word.
Are always rude and lie. Can never, ever be happy.
Are never grateful or do anything useful for others. Are moochers and take from others, be it money, time or anything els

Our traits that rob us of happiness:

Thought or Action Underlying Reason
Don’t like someone happy. Envy
Cannot see others laughing. Jealousy
Criticize others’ laughter. Self-pity and Control
Blame others for their unhappiness. Victimhood
Nitpicking Low self-esteem and low self-image
Bickering. Feeling unloved.
Seek negative reaction from others. Passive-aggressive negativity

How do you define happiness?    

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What are you afraid of?

What we fear of doing most is usually we most need to do– Ralph Waldo Emerson

What is fear?   1402860474b11fa1f015ee40ef86d608

Fear is a physiological reaction to the situation we are in.  Although fear is important for our survival, it actually is False Evidence Appearing Real.  They also say Fear = Decision + Time.  The more time we spend on making a decision about something, that we feel uncomfortable, the more we become afraid of the outcome of that decision.

Feeling afraid is not good feelings

FEAR creates harmful chemical reaction in our bodies that have negative affect on our mental and physical health.  The most common side effect of fear is stress, which causes  many illnesses if not controlled.  The following article discusses the harmful affect of fear:   http://science.howstuffworks.com/life/inside-the-mind/emotions/fear.htm

Shades of fear:

Media also plays an important role in creating fear in us. There are various shades of fears, nonetheless, it is fear. Fear attaches us to people and things.  We become afraid of:

  • Failure
  • The unknown
  • Losing face
  • Losing our partner/loved ones
  • Losing title or position at work
  • Appearing less than others,
  • Not knowing the result or not being able to control the results

fear-lights-photography-quote-text-favim-com-142736 

 

 

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Inner peace = sitting quietly with ourselves

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone –  Blaise Pascal, French philosopher

f22465d106f6e00890e12907fc8ccb6bI have a friend who has been in the process of healing for years.  She goes from one workshop to another, from one country to another in search of that peace and inner healing, and yet she feels empty inside.  She is not alone.  We all seek inner peace and happiness.  To gain that we adapt different ways.  For example we:

  • Gossip – because it keeps us busy and diverts our attention away from ourselves.
  • Drink, eat, lie and do many other things – for momentary pleasures because it makes us forget what gnaws at us.
  • Abuse others – it fills our void that we think can only be filled if we browbeat others.

All the above actions make us feel good for a little bit because they provide an escape from ourselves.  But if we want happiness, contentment and peace we have to discover who we really are; the good and the bad, or our behavior that doesn’t serve us or others and the one that does serve.

Recognizing that  our traits are what we learned growing up is the first step into 54317c3f48bd9a682d71b83a32f9b06facquiring that allusive peace of mind.  This is not to blame others because just the way we learned skills to deal with a situation from our parents, they also learned things from theirs and so no.   The beauty is in recognizing that and wanting to change it. Determination is the key to change.

Change in our behavior is not difficult.   All we have to do is still quietly and listen to our inner voice after all the havoc and distractions of the thoughts that wouldn’t let us sit quietly are subsided.  Allow the horses of your thoughts to come in, bless them, wrap them in a bubble of pink light and release.  It takes time to change so we have to be:

  • Persistent
  • Patient with ourselves
  • Reward ourselves either by doing more meditation or treating yourself to a cup of coffee.

 

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What is healing to you?

As a teenager I thought healing was just physical healing and to heal any part of our body that has been wounded or hurt is to just put an ointment and nice bandage and it will be healed.

Later in my life I discovered that as life happens to us we get unseen wounds hidden 10253878_10152613664062264_7961685884494294173_nsomewhere in our mind.  The question became how to heal unseen scars?  Some say talk it out, express your anger, while others say learn a lesson.  Getting angry or keep on blaming others for our hurts, even if they caused it, never works because the scars are still hidden and the more we think that our hurts are caused by others, the more these scars hide.

So what is healing?

21d3b805e1953068b68ec946ddcefa6eHealing is aligning our soul, mind and body.  It’s easier said than done because we have learned the old ways of healing:  Blame others.  Healing is a lot of work. It’s to have internal inquiry, rather than an outer one.  It’s a long process and ego doesn’t like us to do something if there is a chance of negating it.

How do we know that we need healing in a certain area?

When some experiences, that we don’t like, keep coming in our lives despite the change in people and places.    that’s a sign that we need to deal with it so that we can heal ourselves and move on.

Healing is a step-by-step process:

  • First step is setting the intention.    healing-quotes-best-deep-sayings-any-pain
  • Internal inspection to find out our beliefs.
  • Ask if these beliefs are serving us? Like are they making us happy?
  • Be open to embracing new ideas. Once a friend told me that I always think that my way is not the only way.
  • Forgive ourselves and others, especially those who may have hurt us. This is rather a difficult concept because it’s not tangible.  It’s important to be compassionate with ourselves and more understanding of others.
  • Focus either on yourself or something else in the presence of people who irritated you.

Over time the emotional and psychological scars will, when wrapped in the bandage of love, disappear just like the physical one.

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