Life offers us what we envision

“Do you think I can make a living as a freelance writer?” asks the woman. “Yes, of course,” says the man.

quote-on-anxiety-34-healthyplaceThey are talking about how the woman can establish herself as a writer and his advice is based on what he believes.  He is a writer and editor so he believes that everyone can make a living as a writer.

The woman, on the other hand, has not, yet, made a living as a writer so she thinks it is difficult, if not impossible, to make good money by being a freelance writer.  She believes that there is tough competition and the market doesn’t cater to new writers.  She started writing in her 20’s and has been writing for over two decades.  She believed in that she could successfully write anywhere she lives.  So when she moves to a new place she contacts publications and tells them that she wants to write.  They always agree so writing assignments have landed in her lap.  It’s been as simple as that.

She started writing business, food, travel, international events and financial articles.  But she thought of writing as her hobby a74a75218482b9709865ccfc212995858-its-your-life-quotes-motivational-quotes-for-life-happiness; not something she would do to make a living.

So, after listening to her friend again and again she complained to the writer/editor friend that she didn’t know where to start.

“Your best bet would be to go after publications that cater to women.”

When my friend narrated this to me I thought the message being sent to her is that:

  • She has to apply to only a handful of publications that cater to her gender.
  • Then she would have to look for how many of them cater to what she wants to write.
  • This leaves only a few publications where she could get published.
  • This also leads to a new thought process where she has to limit herself and cater only to those who may be willing to accept her writing.
  • That would further curtail her chances of getting published.

This is how we put ourselves in a box and develop a narrow vision for our skills.  This is not to say that we search in the dark we don’t find out the target market or create a niche for our writing.  But once we start focusing on things like oh, my writing would be best only for publications that cater to men or only to women, then that removes a huge chunk of the market.

Different view-points 548x548xdavid-schwartz-pagespeed-ic-ust7ierlgd

  1. He believes she can make a living writing for publications targeted at women.
  2.  She believes that she cannot make a living being a writer because she has never done so.  But to her targeting publications that cater to women only is curtailing her chances of making a living for writing only for a few.

What do you think you are capable of?

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Whose puppet are you?

When we talk about other people in absentia we are connecting with their energy _ A lesson in spiritual healing.

It’s like telepathy.   When we think of a person, the person either calls/texts or we see the person out of the blue.  Latter if they are living in the same geographic vicinity.  I have tested this over and over and it never fails.  Humans exchange energy at three levels:

  • Mind – Thoughts
  • Body – Physical contact
  • Spirit – Soul, and this can be connected through chakra center,  All three aspects are connected.  A disconnection manifests in lack of happiness and bad health, emotionally, physically and spiritually.  That’s when we become restless and start seeing negativity around us.

working-with-others-relationships-in-the-workplace-8-638I say when we complain about others we become their puppets by thinking that our complaints will make us happy and look targeted people bad.  That doesn’t mean that we oppress our emotions.  But that means to find out the root cause of our complaint.

Think of complaint like this: If someone hurts us once, by complaining about them we hurt ourselves again and again.

Before going to the field of complaints think this:

  • What standards are you using to define a relationship?
  • Why are you using those standards?
  • What are your expectations from a relationship?
  • Where did you learn those standards or expectations?

Complaints, whether we do it silently or loudly, are  invisible energy dagger we think we stick in the other lead_largeperson.  In actuality we are attached to it because we are holding on to the handle.  This means even though we may complaint in someone’s absence, we are energetically connected.

tearsthree-300x285A picture of the person holding a wooden stick with strings hanging above me, comes to my mind when I think of complaining against a person.  It’s like I want the strings stick to me, or I purposely catch the strings so that I can be attached to the person.  The image stops me in my track even before I think about the grievance.

Complainers have low self-esteem because of which they are focused on others and complaining about others make them feel good about themselves.

It’s very important to keep our energy to ourselves so that we attract the people and events of our liking.

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Do you want to be a lighthouse or stay stuck in a stone house?

5You are an eagle, flight is your vocation   You have other skies stretching out before you – Illama Iqbal – Urdu poet 

Recently a wonderful acquaintance poured her heart out to me. After listening to her a few times, I realized we were just wasting time because she told me that she has sought counseling about her issues. I also thought if she has gone to counseling then she would have been able to find the answers and known how to set herself free, i.e., if she were willing to.  How do I know?  Because I had been there myself!  Though not the counseling but the part about raving and ranting about my misery.

We have all been at a place where we connect89ad9eb58e91f0f8d4078ed69200f8f8 with our issues and relate our self-image to external circumstances.  Why? Because we know that changing old habits are not easy.

Repeatedly seeking information to the same dilemma it could means:

  • We are not listening.
  • We want to keep playing the record in our mind so that we can lick our wounds, so to speak.
  • We think we don’t know how to do it.
  • We don’t want to change our habits because we feel comfortable in what we are doing. And lamenting about the same thing is a habit.
  • We are feeling victim and brew in self-pity without being aware of it.
  • We give our power to the issues by focusing on them.

I suggested buying The Magic by Rhonda Byrne, the book that I’ve recommended to many because it was a stepping stone in my transformation.   7677caa17730a601445aede94294e4f8-lighthouse-quotes-stuff-stuff

After a few days I asked her if she had bought the book and she said that she was extremely busy. But I went online to discovered that it took less than five minutes to order the book and there were plenty of used copies with nominal price. I texted her the information and added that she didn’t have to do anything I suggested.      We may not realize that by making excuses like lack of time or something else we choose to stay where we are – living among rocks, because that’s what feel most comfortable.  It’s like glass windows.  Unwanted dust will cover them and stop the light coming through and over time mould sets in.  This stops not only the light coming through but may even result in sickness.  Who likes cleaning windows?  I don’t.  But we have to clean our windows so that we can let the light come through and see the sunshine and beauty waiting for us to look at.

Let’s rise above the rocks of victimhood, loneliness, confusion, self-pity, judgmentb5af518655823e5ad71c6fa91b3433e5, expectations, and lack of love.  This takes time and practice because first we have to set the intention of finding a way out of the rocks that we have surrounded ourselves with.  Then trust that we can all fly high and shed light on the rocks to guide the ships that are stuck.  It’s the ship’s captain choice whether s/he wants to sail the boat and enjoy the freedom, or not.

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The pregnant woman wearing stockings in summer!

Yesterday I visited Tanya, a friend, who, like me, also visits a weekly farmer’s market held on Saturdays.  Tanya mentioned seeing a pregnant woman wearing stockings.  The woman’s appearance got the better of her because she was still talking about her several hours later and even said that the woman didn’t seem from around here.

“The woman was accompanied by her husband and four children.  They had five baskets, one full of tomatoes, one full of French beans, one with mix vegetables, one…” Tanya continued.  7a9386e094546e650735047297f0e6e1-quotes-about-gossip-gossip-quotes

The Farmer’s market starts in June and stays open until October or so.  They usually sell all you can get in a plastic bag for $10.  The catch is that you have to use their bags.  If you want to buy more than a bag of vegetables, then you can do what they call crop-share and pay in advance.  Crop-share costs a little more but you get a big basket which has considerably more than $10 worth of vegetables.

So we spent a good half hours discussing about what would the pregnant woman, wearing stocking in summer, and her family be doing with so much vegetables and how much it would cost them to buy a crop share and why would they do that because, according to us, it would be expensive.  I proffered my theories and she hers.

Finally I asked, “Why didn’t you ask her what she would do with so much vegetables?”

“I didn’t want to appear nosey.”

“But curiosity is good and that’s why I always ask people.”

“This is how a gossip starts,” I said and Tanya agreed and we briefly discussed the nature of gossip before Tanya said, “By the time the fifth person hears my story she would say, I saw Tanya in the Farmer’s Market and she was wearing stocking and lugging five baskets of…”

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And we erupted in laughter.

I thought perhaps the sixth person would say Tanya was pregnant and the seventh one would think, “Oh, my she has been divorced for a while.  I wonder who could be the father of her child?” and chuckled to myself.

On a more serious note:  How often do you share something with someone and then that someone talks about it to another someone?

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Seeking approval is making yourself a victim

“The only permission, the only validation and the only opinion, that matter in our quest for greatness is our own” –  Dr. Steve Marabeli.

I was on the phone with my sister and she said something like this: “You talked about…”  In saying-no-1Pakistani culture when we use the word “talk”, it means we are complaining or gossiping.  It’s like going to someone and especially bring a certain topic about oneself or a person(s).  What I had done was express my opinion in the discussion that was started by a third person who was present at the time. 

My immediate response was to tell my sister c4075ed709e560538ecba53d6a39f767-jalaluddin-rumi-rumi-quotesthat I didn’t talk.  I just expressed my opinion.  I badly wanted to set it right and call her right away.  But then I asked myself why do I want to convince her so badly that I just expressed my opinion.  Would it change anything?  I realized what I wanted was a validation.  Validation that I didn’t do anything wrong. 

I realized when we want validation from others, we stay in a victim mode.  We think we can be good only when the other person gives us a stamp of approval.  This way we give power to the other person to tell us whether we are good or not.  Do they approve of us or not.  The only validation that counts is that our own.  That’s is not to say that it’s ok to misbehave or mistreat others. 

How or when do you seek others’ approval?  The more we seek approval, the more we treat ourselves as a victim.  Stop seeking others’ approval!

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When was the last time…?

I don’t even remember when I wrote the last blog. This is what happens on a vacation.  It’s high time that I get in the gear.   But I had no idea what to write about so I visited wordpress webpage to get a word to write the blog about. What caught my attention was amble.  One of the meanings given in a dictionary is, “walk or move at a slow, relaxed pace.”

 stop-and-smell-the-rosesBut in today’s goal oriented life we don’t have time to slow down.  Because we are not content with what we have so we have to do and strive for better.  To do so we have to compete with others.  This makes life hectic and we are left with no time.  We go through the day on an auto pilot.  We forget to appreciate those around us, at home, on the way to the office, neighbors or anyone who crosses our path.  We miss the great connection of humanity, of oneness that amble would bring. 

 When was the last time you walked at a slow and relaxed pace?  When was the last time maxresdefaultyou returned the smiled to a stranger or returned a stranger’s smile with an open smile and not with pursed lips?  When was the last time you ambled with the intention of smelling flowers or feeling them with the back of your hand?

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Can someone please tell me?

 OMG!!!

I haven’t written a blogpost for the last, almost, three weeks.  Not that I hadn’t been writing in my mind. It’s not because I had been lazy, as some of my family members and friends would testify. It’s just that I was so distracted that I didn’t even think about writing something.  hemispheremap

 The trip to the southern hemisphere had been filled with really thinking about the mind set of people, including me, in the northern hemisphere as opposed to the southern ones. I always felt that there is nervous energy in the countries, that I have lived or visited, but the southern hemisphere countries are much calmer.  Mind you that I have been only to four countries in the southern hemisphere. 

 People somehow, seem to trust the flow of life.  There is no rush, no hurry and everything chi-clock-calendar-and-map-002gets done, just the way it’s done by people living in the northern hemisphere. 

 Is it because more people focus on goals and think that’s the only way to have a life – by being a go-getter.  Not that people in the SH don’t do that.  I always ask myself how can I be so calm and patience.

Please let me know if you have an answer.

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